Nov 26, 2012 - A Touch of Peace

The one year mark…anniversary of the terrible tragedy. November 26th, 2011.  A lot of people asked me “does the year feel like it went by fast or slow?”  I can’t answer that, sometimes it feels like just yesterday.  All I know for sure is, the fact that the sun rose each day for 365 days…so a year has gone by.

So much has happened in this past year and yet I know no more about this devastating crime than I knew a year ago.  Not a thing is settled, legal wise.  Not a plea, nothing.  We all know what happened that night, this is just another huge source of frustration and hurt inflicted upon all of us victims.

I have learned so much in other aspects.  The relatives, the friends, the strangers that continue to stand beside me, walk with me, hold me up at times and listen to me. 

I’ve come to realize how important family really is, how important relationships are even when you don’t see people that often.  I’ve come to appreciate the people in my world so much, but more importantly the people in Brad’s world.  What a wonderful thing to come to realize and know in my mind and heart.

I have come to know some of the best people ever, because of the worst thing ever.  We all handle this in a different way, but we all have the same questions, regrets, heartache.  We are all an unbelievable source of support at different times for different needs.  We are all on our own missions, what is right for us.  The fact that we can share and pour it all out to each other is something that is immeasurable.

I have changed, and at first that was really bothersome.  But today I find some of the “me” coming back. At least I think so.  I am in a bit of a different place is my best guess.  A better place.  How I arrived here, I don’t know for sure. 

Definitely some great people helped along the way, sometimes certain words were written or spoken to me that gave me more meaning than I could even realize at the time. 

My mind doesn’t ever seem to quit and it always takes me a few days to absorb a lot of the events that happened over the last year.  It’s such a different world, but in so many ways, such a kind world.  This has affected so many in the community and beyond. 

Although I know I will have many dark days or moments, I can see a light.  It’s Bradley.  My belief is we will be together again and he is around us all, especially when we need him. 

And I know Brad is in good hands and in very, very good company.  It took a while to get to this place and I pray I stay in this place.  A touch of peace.  I never knew how important or even exactly what “peace” meant or felt like. Life was good. Always took “peace” for granted possibly. I believe with my heart I have found a little bit of “peace.”

Now, am I angry? Yes, I am angry as all hell.  Angry at Johnathan Pratt, angry at our Justice System, angry at our judges, angry at lawyers, the list is long.  Angry at anyone who still drinks and drives. 

The difference is I won’t let it consume me or most of my thoughts.  My passion for change is unwavering.  This crime is vehicular homicide and the sentence does not fit the crime, not even close.  It is an individual choice that is made, with no regard for others and it should not be tolerated by the public in this day and age.  Canada is one of the very few countries that seem to not take this seriously, from the public to the courts.  Stiffer sentencing will wake up many of us that continue to do this.

I must say…I have so much help and support from close and afar.  This is a big part in what I am trying to accomplish.  “I” becomes “WE” and “US” “Families for Justice” and all means that we can find to change sentencing we will pursue. With all we have and all we can do. 

This is the powerful legacy that Brad will leave behind through all of us.  We do this not for ourselves but so no other family and loved ones have to go through this devastation. 

We are Brad’s voice and the voices of so many.  Too many. 

I miss my son Bradley terribly and always will, that will never change, not one year or a million years later. 

No different from one day to the next, but I am remembering his smile, his laugh, his antics, more and more each day.  And that is a good thing.

Brad if you wouldn’t mind, could you give Kole and Thad a hug for us?

 

 

 

Last updated on: 2016-08-06 | Link to this post